What does life look like after war for our soldiers? Today we have a guest, Liz Pekler, shedding light on what a soldier’s journey back home might entail. She points out in her article their suffering doesn’t always end when their deployment is finished. This post includes some significant lifestyle changes to help treat PTSD as well as some ways family and friends can help.
A BIG thank you to our Veterans for your willingness to risk your life for us.
WE ARE GRATEFUL!
Life After War: A Soldier’s Journey Back Home
Guest Post by Liz Pekler
To be a soldier is to give honor to one’s home country. While this is something to be proud of, it also means making sacrifices and being away from one’s comfort zone. It can be easy to assume that a soldier’s suffering ends once his deployment is over. However, the mental and emotional baggage that they bring along with them can be just as dangerous.
One can only imagine the trauma and stress that soldiers experience throughout lengthy deployments. In 2013, 349 military personnel committed suicide a year or less after returning home, according to the Department of Defense. These untimely deaths were linked to overwhelming residual combat stress.
Violence and death become a huge part of soldiers’ lives, even after returning home to their families. Ironically, despite coming out of the battlefield alive, some are unable to live their lives after the war.
Post-War Issues and Conflicts
Joy Mixed with Unfamiliarity
Soldiers come home excited to live their old lives and be reunited with their loved ones. However, the adjustment period can be more difficult than most can imagine. They have been away for so long that it becomes a struggle for them to fit into their households. What should be familiar will often seem new and foreign.
This is how Jonathan Kirk Davis, Veteran of Operation Iraqi Freedom and Sergeant in the United States Marine Corp, describes the feeling of coming home in his revealing piece published by Forbes.
“When you see your wife, she is unfamiliar to you,” Davis writes. “When you first see her, you get the smell of her hair and her embrace, but there are subtle differences that make you feel as if things are different somehow.”
Despite these feelings of uncertainty, Davis was quick to point out that those first few moments of being reunited with a beloved are some of the happiest moments he’s ever experienced.
Residual Combat Stress
Soldiers who come back from war often behave differently towards other people due to post-traumatic stress. After all, military life trains soldiers to be tough and constantly prepared for any kind of attack. This can cause them to develop an extreme distrust of people, paranoia, and anger management issues. Some have difficulty being gentle towards their loved ones after getting used to the strict nature of combat deployments. This, in turn, can cause rifts and issues in personal relationships.
Long-Term Emotional Adjustment
There is no telling what a couple of months or years of deployment can do to a person. We can only assume the effects in general, but never the gravity of it. The result of even short-term battles can leave soldiers clueless about how they can return to their old lives. Sadly, many don’t find the answers long after coming home.
“To be honest, it is never the same as before you left,” Davis writes. “You are changed by the experience of a combat deployment, even after the first.”
The soldiers’ families and friends are not spared by the change either. David explains, “Everyone matures naturally, but independent of each other, and you have to reintegrate into each other’s lives again.” This can be particularly problematic when the soldiers’ struggle to adjust manifests itself through self-control issues, which often result in arguments and conflicts with spouses and children.
Lifestyle Changes to Help Treat PTSD
Residual stress from exposure to combat may progress to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Common symptoms of PTSD include emotional numbness, paranoia, vivid flashbacks, nightmares, inability to sleep and focus, difficulty sleeping and concentrating, extreme irritability, and angry outbursts, among others.
Aside from seeking help from a doctor, a counselor, or therapist, here are other ways soldiers can treat the symptoms of PTSD:
Connect with Other Survivors
It helps for affected soldiers to reach out to other people, such as other soldiers or trauma survivors, who have had similar experiences as them. This will help them get the support and understanding that they need, thus encouraging them to rebuild trust in other people and break unnecessary barriers of intimacy that they may be holding.
Get Moving
Exercising is a healthy way to release physical tension and pent-up emotions. After all, it’s a well-known method for the release of endorphins or “happy hormones” that trigger positive feelings and reduce a person’s perception of pain. Scheduling a regular workout will keep the blood flowing and the heart healthy. Even just a daily walk at the park can serve as a good diversion from negative memories and emotions, giving the soldier a renewed sense of control and a boost for his or her self-esteem.
Find a Creative Hobby
Some soldiers engage in artistic activities when they’re not on duty. There are some who serve in the military as photojournalists. After the battle, these hobbies can be good distractions for troubled veterans. Anything from drawing and writing poems to painting and photography can keep an affected soldier busy and aid him or her on the way to recovery.
The Veteran Affairs office in Palo Alto offers workshops to help heal veterans suffering from PTSD. They also have the freedom to choose subjects that will best symbolize their recovery process. Their five-part project teaches veterans how to use their chosen craft to process their negative emotions better as they recover. This kind of treatment helps soldiers open up about their experiences and address their post-war stress in a much healthier way.
Engage in Charity Work
Helping out people within their city or neighborhood can slowly but effectively help the soldier reintegrate themselves into the community. Soldiers can sign up with military non-profit organizations, do volunteer work for education and sports programs, and join other charitable causes that benefit non-military related causes.
Inform Your Loved Ones
Making close friends and family members aware of the soldier’s condition can help him or her deal with internal issues better. Traumatized veterans need all the support they can get, even if it simply means others will refrain from talking about war-related topics that make the veteran feel uncomfortable.
How Family and Friends Can Help
Family, friends, and the community are capable of playing a huge role in the successful recovery of a returning soldier. Even if you have no experience or exposure to war, there are several ways that you can help a troubled veteran.
- Educate yourself about what they might be going through.
- Offer to accompany them to check-ups and therapy or help them monitor their prescribed medicine intake.
- Be there to listen and don’t force them to talk if they don’t feel comfortable about doing so.
- Plan dinners, vacations, or other activities with your family or group of friends.
- Encourage physical activity by joining them at the gym or for a walk in the park.
- Help build a support system for them.
A soldier’s journey back to the civilian life is not easy. There is no guarantee of one’s complete transition, but it helps to know that there is more than one way to seek and show support for our military men. And with many people and organizations campaigning for the treatment of war-related PTSD, there will always be hope for our troubled and noble military veterans.
Meet Liz Pekler
Liz is a freelance writer with more than a decade of experience in the field. Being a freelance blogger enables her to help people tell wonderful stories. It also allows Liz to share her thoughts about another advocacy of hers: social equality and change.
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This really hit home for me as my grandma was just telling me how my grandpa wasn’t the same when he came home from Vietnam. Thank you for raising awareness.
Yes, our men do not come home the same. Sorry, your Granpa was impacted. So grateful for him serving our country. Maree
There are many men and women in my church how have served in the armed forces and some in combat situations–harboring the effects of PTSD. So this is a very helpful view of what the symptoms are of disorder and practical answers for how to deal with it, Maree Dee! I’ll be pinning, as well as sharing this post with my friends in the service.
Thank you for helping to spread awareness of what it is like for our soldiers coming home. Blessings, Maree
Maree, this is so powerful and so very helpful. I believe those who are welcoming home loved ones after deployment desperately want to understand and make the transition a smooth one. This sheds light on some very important parts of this journey. Thank you to you and to Liz! God bless!
Deb, I thought so too. Liz did a great job giving us insight into what it might be like for our soldiers coming home. Thank you for stopping by. Happy Thanksgiving! Maree
Something I also see military personnel struggling with is that in order to go to war and live with themselves they have had to classify a type of people or a country of people as bad. When the war is done and over, that doesn’t necessarily end. I try to remember that they have gone through and experienced things I never have and that I need to give them grace as they find their way after war.
What a great point you add to this critical conversation. I can see how this would happen. Thank you for stopping by and adding your wisdom. Blessings, Maree
Thank you for shedding light on this subject. My grandfather was a retired Marine corporal (hope that’s the correct title) who fought during war. His experience absolutely changed him! PTSD is real! I recall any time we would go to dinner, he always had to sit facing the door, to watch for anyone suspicious who might enter. He also insisted on sitting in a spot where his back was to a wall, so there would be no chance of being attacked from behind. Loud noises startled him. He was never able to watch a movie portraying scenes of war. And he suffered with horrendous flashbacks and nightmares until his dying day. He was a GOOD man, and it broke my heart that he suffered this way..
I appreciate your bringing awareness to these soldiers who so often suffer in silence. The number of suicides is staggering! 🙁
Rachel, I am so sorry your grandfather suffered. It breaks my heart too. I think the more awareness we can bring to the topic the more we can do to help. It was an honor to have Liz be a guest and bring light to this important topic. Happy Thanksgiving! Maree
I would love to connect with Liz. As a Combat Veteran myself and married to a Soldier who has had several more deployments, I can so relate to all of this! Such a sad reality that is tricky to navigate. In fact, helping military couples reconnect after a deployment is why I published Marriage Maintenance: Tune Up After Time Apart. Blessings to you both!
Liz,
I hope you do connect with Liz. Would you like me to see if it okay to give out her email to you? She did leave a few ways to connect in her bio. I love that you reach out to couples and help them reconnect after deployment. Thank you for letting us know in the comments.
Blessings to you and your ministry.
Maree
Having a nephew serve in the Middle East and coming back and having many difficulties, has been eye opening and heartbreaking. He knows friends who have committed suicide, and he has wanted to himself just to end the pain and difficulty he has experienced. Thankfully he has not. And he is trying. Veterans need all the help we can give.
Theresa, I am praying for your nephew right now. I am so glad he is trying to make it. There is hope. Yes, we do need to help our Veterans. I haven’t always done a good job of it. Trying to my part now. Maree
It’s so troubling to think soldiers commit suicide upon returning home! I’m thinking only God can truly touch these precious soldiers and their families.
It is troubling. My hope is God will touch these soldiers through people like you and me and trained professional that can help equip them to adjust to being back home. I can only imagine how hard it must be. Maree