Christmas is a delight for many and a season of difficulties for some. Are you feeling overwhelmed at the thought of the upcoming festivities? You are not alone. Did you know acknowledging and equipping for the hard ahead of time can pave the way for a more positive experience? Discover 10 ways to prepare for the holiday struggle and find joy.
What is your biggest struggle or challenge of the season?
Personal Reflection
As I contemplate the difficulties surrounding the holiday season, emotions rise, and tears fall onto my lap. As someone who loves individuals with a mental illness, recognizing my struggles is complex. It’s easy to downplay my pain when theirs seems more significant. However, I have realized that all pain deserves acknowledgment, and comparing worsens the suffering.
All pain is significant and needs to be acknowledged and mourned. #pain #suffering Share on XChallenges Faced
Watching my family members grapple with mental health challenges during the holidays breaks my heart. Adding to the difficulty is my desire for a bustling holiday filled with people, music, and activities, a vision that clashes with their needs. Plus, All you mommas out there know when our children hurt, we do, too.What brings me joy carries stress, noise, and an interrupted schedule.
What brings me joy carries stress, noise, and an interrupted schedule. To further understand what it is like to navigate the holidays with a mental illness, read ”Mental Illness: How to Help Reduce Stress During the Holidays for Loved Ones”. It can become a delicate balancing act between meeting the needs of our loved ones and our desires.
Joy Can Quickly Evaporate
Our efforts to pursue a picture-perfect holiday usually lead to disappointment. A season of joy can quickly become unbearable, stressful, and sometimes unappealing. Does this ever happen in your family?
A Shift in Perspective
Accepting that perfection isn’t attainable; we can learn to shift our focus to what truly matters—God’s love, peace, and guidance. After all, Jesus was born.
Next, through the example of Jesus, we can learn to value what God finds valuable—relationships.
My journey of adjusting expectations and focusing on what is most important to God has helped transform my challenging Christmas season. Setting aside those long lists of tasks, shopping for the perfect gifts and elaborate decorations is no longer a priority. Of course, I have to reset my mindset numerous times during the season.
Perhaps it is time for you to examine what is most important during the holidays and find new ways to prepare for the struggle.
10 Ways to Prepare for the Holiday Struggle
Whether your challenge is unique to you or you’re a mom with a hurting child, the weight of the holidays can be overwhelming. Surely, I’m not the only one whose eyes well up at the thought of a challenging season ahead. So when the holidays or a season of strife are approaching, I choose to minimize the battle by adhering to a few things.
1. Focus on Jesus
Try starting your day with God—perhaps a new Avent devotional. Be on your knees and in your Bible without ceasing. And never forget Jesus is with you.
Focusing on God is essential because Christmas wouldn’t be complete without his love, peace, and guidance. Share on XAnd you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. (JEREMIAH 29:13 NKJV)
2. Identify Your Priorities
Remind yourself that relationships matter the most. Let go of the need to be correct, accomplish tasks, and concentrate instead on the connection.
The mantra I repeat when those intense moments arrive is, “The relationship is the most important priority.”
This holiday season keeps relationships at the forefront, emphasizing connections over perfection and accomplishments. Treasure the relationship God gave you.
3. Practice Acceptance
Acknowledge and accept the present reality. Fighting the current circumstances will not change them.
I say aloud, “It is what it is.”
4. Prepare to Resist People Pleasing
We can’t make everyone happy, so focus on what matters. Go ahead and permit yourself to disappoint others.
5. Set Realistic Expectations
Surrender those unrealistic expectations ahead of time and release the need for perfection. This will help you prepare for the holiday struggle.
6. Acknowledge the Pain
Allow yourself to express and grieve your pain and losses. Include those unmet expectations of what you thought your holidays would look like. Mourn the milestones not reached; the parties missed due to circumstances, and the pain you observe in others.
Don’t stuff those hard feelings down or pretend they don’t exist because they will come out with a vengeance when you least expect them. Plus, grieving is healthy and will help us see what we have.
7. Count Your Blessings
Identify and embrace the apparent blessings and the ones in disguise. After all, focusing on gratitude will bring love and joy.
8. Recognize Dual Emotions
We are capable of feeling joy and sadness simultaneously. One does not need to cancel the other out. Yes, it is sad when someone is missing from the celebrations, but we can also feel joy for those present. Choose joy!
9. Live in the Present Moment
Please focus on the current moment and all that it has to offer. Look for the joy in the moment. And even if the present moment is painful, let’s only suffer this moment; not all the past hurts and possible future ones.
“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” (MATTHEW 6:34, NIV)
10. Slow Down and Simplify
Avoid over-committing; prioritize self-care and choose meaningful activities. Letting go of a few traditions might help. For more tips on simplifying, visit “What to Do When You Want to Skip Christmas.”
Please share your successful strategies on how to prepare for the holiday struggle.
Make a choice this holiday season to head in with your priorities set and your game plan ready. It may be the best one ever. Share on XGrace & Truth Christian Link-Up
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Intentional Christmas Love
This December, let’s focus on what matters most: love. Join us each week for a new challenge as we turn our hearts toward God, ourselves, and others. Together, we can celebrate the true meaning of the season.
Your thoughtful tips for navigating the holiday season touched my heart. Prioritizing relationships and embracing acceptance are key. How do you stay present during festive challenges?
Thank you, Moumita, for your sweet comment. As for your question, I must practice staying in the moment. I remind myself constantly to stay in the present. Staying present does not come naturally to me, but with diligent work, I get better and better at it, and I find more joy. Happy New Year! Maree
So good, all pain does require acknowledgement and not downplayed because someone else’s pain might seem worse at the moment. I love how you said to permit ourselves to disappoint others. Also … “I have realized that all pain deserves acknowledgment, and comparing worsens the suffering.” SO true!! Love this post sweet friend …
hank you, my friend, for your encouraging words. Praying you have a year filled with blessings. Maree
Great reminders! I’ve definitely had to reset my priorities and practice acceptance in that last several years.
Thank you, resetting our priorities can really help with the holidays and beyond. I’m trying to continually seek wisdom in what I the priority. Happy New Year! Maree
Reflection is such an important aspect of the Christmas season, Maree. May you have a peaceful and grace-filled Christmas!
Thank you! Wishing you a Happy New Year filled with many blessings, Maree
Maree, thank you for this post, filled with common sense, wisdom, and grace. I find these truths to be right on as I, too, have dear ones who struggle with brain chemistry that just doesn’t click. In this season, I find myself more compassionate, patient, and tolerant because I realize over and over that my call is to love and not fix, control, or analyze. This has freed me up and allowed me to go the long haul with peace.
Christmas blessings to you, friend. Thank you for writing on things that are vital and pressing to so many of us.
Linda, you are a true blessing to those in your life who are struggling. I appreciate your example of compassion, patience, and tolerance. Thank you for reminding all of us that we are called to love, even when it’s difficult not to try and fix things. Wishing you a Happy New Year! Maree.”