How Does Enduring Unexpected Circumstances Boost Your Resilience?

How does enduring unexpected circumstances boost your resilience? Life is full of surprises, but with them come hard-earned lessons and strength that can carry us through future challenges. In this post, my friend, Dr. Michelle Bengtson, shares the hidden importance of adversities and how you can embrace them to become more resilient. She will explore why lack of control, dependence on God, and focusing on the present are essential components of resilience and how trials help us become more like Jesus. Discover how to use unanticipated events to your advantage and learn how to navigate life’s ups and downs better.

How Does Enduring Unexpected Circumstances Boost Your Resilience?

By Dr. Michelle Bengtson

Life is full of unpredictability, presenting us with unexpected circumstances that can disrupt our plans and throw us off balance. Such curveballs can range from minor inconveniences to major life-altering events. How we handle them can determine the level of resilience we possess. Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity, adapt to change, and maintain a positive mental state in the face of challenges. In this post, we will explore how enduring unexpected circumstances can help boost our resilience and empower us to navigate life’s ups and downs with greater ease. Embracing the unexpected can enhance our capacity to thrive in an unpredictable world.

People have often said to me, “I don’t know how you’ve endured all you’ve faced and kept on going. I don’t think I could.” The attitude with which I face life is summed up in two simple statements I shared in my book, The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out to God When Pain Overwhelms.

But I also believe resilience is like a muscle that grows as we exercise it. My heart’s desire is to live like Paul, who experienced the most unthinkable unexpected circumstances and yet encouraged us.

“I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” 
(Phil. 3:14 NIV).

How Enduring Unexpected Circumstances Can Boost Our Resilience

Life is full of surprises, both pleasant and unpleasant. From sudden job losses and financial emergencies to natural disasters and global pandemics, unexpected circumstances can turn our lives upside down in an instant. While we cannot predict or control what the future holds, unforeseen circumstances can boost our resilience so that we are better prepared to navigate through future challenging times.

Highlights Our Lack of Control

Unexpected circumstances improve our resilience by highlighting our lack of control. When things that weren’t on our radar happen, our life feels like it’s been flipped upside down. It’s then, perhaps more than any other time, that we realize how little we control things in our lives. Job losses, unexpected diagnoses, financial strains, prodigal children, fill in the blank with your unforeseen circumstance. We often don’t see them coming and find that we can do little to stop what feels like a runaway train.

When we recognize our lack of control, we are in a perfect position to surrender to the truth. While these circumstances take us off guard, they never surprise God. God isn’t in heaven wringing his hands, thinking, “Oh my, I didn’t see that one coming. Now, what are we going to do?” On the contrary, Scripture reminds us that God knows the plans he has for us (see Jer. 29:11). Our resilience is boosted when we recognize that while we may not be in control, we can trust God, who is always in control. Our resilience will improve as we come to fully appreciate that even when our unexpected circumstances come as a surprise to God, we are never outside the grasp of his control.

Reveals Our Dependency on God

Unexpected circumstances boost our resilience by revealing our dependence on God. One of the cliches that bothers me most is, “God never gives us more than we can handle.” I’ve searched and don’t find that anywhere in my Bible. In fact, I’ve found story after story, which attests to the fact that God allows us to endure more than we can humanly handle, so we remain dependent on him. He wants to be the Lord of our lives! Which means relying on him rather than trying to negotiate life on our terms and in our strength.

We weren’t told what that thorn was when Paul was afflicted with a thorn in his flesh. But we can certainly consider it an “unexpected circumstance” in his life, whether that affliction was physical, emotional, relational, or spiritual. He begged God three times to remove the thorn because he couldn’t handle it on his own. God denied his request. But God often doesn’t give us what we ask for, but rather what HE knows we need in our situation. In Paul’s situation, God knew that Paul ran the risk of getting proud if God removed the thorn. Instead, God offered his grace, grace that was sufficient to carry Paul through his unexpected circumstances.

Frequently, our unexpected circumstances serve to remind us of our dependence on God. There have been many nights when my tear-stained pillow served as evidence that my pain was too hard for me to carry. I’m dependent on God to carry me through until he either heals or takes me home.

Refocuses Us on the Present

Unexpected circumstances build our resilience by refocusing us on the present. Experiencing unforeseen circumstances causes us to be present and to focus on the here and now. Yet these situations we didn’t expect, nor want, are an invitation from God to be present in the here and now, not by ourselves, but with him. In Exodus 3:14, God promises to be I AM—not the I was, or I will be, but I AM in our current situation. He is all-encompassing and able to be all that we need him to be while also being all-sufficient, never lacking in anything.

Help Us Focus on God

Unexpected circumstances help boost our resilience when they teach us to focus on who God is and his willingness to step in and be present in our suffering. We are promised his presence whether we’re facing unexpected circumstances that thrill our hearts or drive us to our knees. “Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there” (Ps. 139:7-8 NIV). Our resilience is strengthened when we focus on the present, recognize that God is already there, and refuse to worry about what may or may not happen in the future.

Perfected by Our Pain and Suffering

Unexpected circumstances build our resilience by reminding us that we are perfected through pain and suffering. Let’s be honest…I don’t know anyone who wants to endure unexpected circumstances, pain, or suffering. We tend to be a pretty pain-averse culture. We want a quick fix, our pain to be healed, and we want to move on. When I’ve endured unexpected circumstances (ranging from having a husband who is a three-time cancer survivor, job loss, evacuation from multiple hurricanes, unplanned cross-country moves, etc.) I wanted God to remove the sting each situation brought, but more than that, I wanted to learn all God had for me in those circumstances so I could know him and his ways better and not have to repeat the trial for a deeper dive!

The Bible tells us that Jesus was made perfect through suffering.

“In bringing many sons and daughters to glory, it was fitting that God, for whom and through whom everything exists, should make the pioneer of their salvation perfect through what he suffered.” 
(Heb. 2:10 NIV) 

Even though Jesus was fully God, he became fully man. He endured greater suffering than we can ever imagine, to perfect him. His suffering made him merciful and faithful to us!

“For this reason he had to be made like them,fully human in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people.” (Heb. 2:17 NIV)

We Become More Like Jesus

Enduring unexpected circumstances smooths out our rough and unholy edges and helps us become more like Jesus, reflecting a more accurate image of him to those around us.

Hope in Our Unexpected Circumstances

No one likes enduring the pain and suffering that often comes on the heels of unexpected circumstances, but there is great hope in knowing that God never wastes our hurt. Resilience is a beautiful by-product of persevering through the situations we fear could break us. Let us be like Paul, who encourages,

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? 
Run in such a way as to get the prize” 
(1 Cor. 9:24 NIV)

How has enduring unexpected circumstances boosted YOUR resilience?

Dr. Michelle Bengtson is a hope concierge! Whether as a board-certified clinical neuropsychologist, host of the award-winning podcast Your Hope Filled Perspective, or the author of several award-winning books including Hope Prevails and Breaking Anxiety’s Grip, her passion is to share hope and encouragement with others. Her newest release is The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out to God When Pain Overwhelms. She loves all things teal, spending time with friends and family, taking long walks, or sitting by quiet shores, and it’s a bonus when any of those are accompanied by sea salt caramel chocolate! You can find her and her hope-filled resources at DrMichelleB.com.

Connect with Dr. Michelle Bengtson on Blog, Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Instagram, Pinterest, Podcast and YouTube.

Maree’s thoughts on The Hem of His Garment by Dr. Michelle Bengtson. Wow, what an inspirational book by a beautiful woman who knows pain. I love how Michelle weaves her story into the book along with people from the Bible. Her honesty and vulnerability are refreshing. She doesn’t hesitate to share the hard, ugly things we feel but try to hide. It makes you nod and say; I’m not alone; someone understands my pain even though our circumstances differ. Well done, Michelle; thank you for fighting through your incredible pain to write this book.

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How to Boost Resilience Series

Explore how to boost resilience to embrace life’s unexpected turns with courage and confidence. This blog series provides the roadmap to developing unshakeable strength to thrive and find joy in any storm. Tap here to catch up on any missed articles.

Upcoming Talk: How to See Your Hidden Blessings as a Caregiver

Caregiving can be one of life’s most challenging roles. Yet, in the midst of the difficult moments, unexpected blessings are often waiting to be discovered.

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