Do you ever wonder how some people thrive in the middle of trying circumstances? I had always assumed they were just built that way until I realized firsthand—strong people wear out too. One crucial component to getting through the storm is resting. Do you happen to know how to rest in the midst of the unexpected?
But Feelings Are Not Facts.
What about when the circumstances involve others whose needs are more significant than your own? Doesn’t it feel unchristian even to consider taking a break? Add some expectations to the mix from others or yourself, and before long, you find yourself going at full speed with no rest on the horizon.
After all, don't people expect energetic people to keep going at full throttle, especially if they have always done it before.? #bestill #rest Share on XDo you have a running monologue in your head?
Maybe it sounds like this –
- Good Christians keep going.
- The strongest must do the work.
- There is no time for rest.
- It all depends on me.
- When the needs of others are BIGGER than mine, I do not matter.
- Quitters never prosper,
- Genuine Christians always put others first.
- My circumstances are different; I can’t rest.
This kind of thinking is the quickest way to lead you down a dark and lonely road called—burnout.
Have you ever been close to burning out when others depended on you? Share on X
I remember a time when this running monologue was going through my head nonstop. I decided it was time to seek some wise counsel. So I set out for an appointment with a counselor whom I respect, trust, and admire.
Upon arriving, I slumped down onto the couch and took a great big gulp of my extra-large diet coke. A little caffeine for the weary never hurts. I began rummaging through my bag for my handy iPad to take notes. Upon finding it, I assumed we would skip the small talk and head right to his advice on fixing my thoughts. Then I would be on my way.
Instead, he begins by asking me some annoying questions—“How is your self-care? Are you taking time to rest?”
I grimaced and shifted uncomfortably in my seat. Back then, I was not too fond of the word self-care. It seemed like a nasty word in my mind, pointing to a selfish, egotistical, and not very Christian-like person.
With piercing eyes, I darted a look at him. Without saying a word, my expression said it all—Don’t you remember my children are in the middle of a mental health crisis. Why would you ask me such a stupid question? How on earth could I be thinking about my self-care when they are struggling with a disorder of such magnitude, and they did nothing to deserve it?
We sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity. The counselor knew my faith was solid and had carried me this far. However, he was wise to see me twirling down a deep hole and standing on my faulty beliefs of what a good Christian should do. So he ever so kindly stated.
Remember –
Jesus didn’t stop and heal everyone.
He is your child’s Savior, not you.
Jesus took the time to rest.
His words immediately pierced my heart. Did I think I was stronger, better, smarter than Jesus? I indeed had been acting like it. If Jesus needed rest, then surely I did too. It was time to figure out how to rest in the middle of my circumstances.
Five Steps to Avoid Burnout
1. Recognize the Importance of Rest
You won’t rest if you do not believe it is essential.
2. Start Weighing What You Do
Picture an old-fashioned two-sided balancing scale, or a piece of paper with a line drawn down the middle will do. List out all you do for others and what you do for yourself. Of course, they most likely are not balanced, especially if you are in a short-term crisis. But it will give you an idea if one side is hitting the bottom.
3. Know What Makes You Feel Rested
Maybe a tech break, prayer, going for a walk, quiet time with God, reading, taking a hot bath, spending time with friends, exercising, etc. What makes you feel rested is unique to you.
4. Know What Drains You
Start taking an inventory of what responsibilities or activities tend to drain you.
5. Plan for Rest
When you head into a season of struggle, be sure you—add rest to your day. Go ahead and schedule the time needed to restore. Make it a non-negotiable.
On an ongoing basis, pick three things from your list of what leaves you rested and make sure you incorporate them into your weekly schedule.
Also, don’t forget God rested on the seventh day.
It Isn’t Always Easy, but It Is a Crucial Step
Remembering back to my first day of rest in the middle of 24/7 care for another. I pulled out of the driveway; tears welled up and spilled down my face. The entire drive, I combated the enemy’s ugly thoughts; what kind of a mother leaves her hurting child behind, rests in the middle of a storm, or puts herself first?
But then I remembered –
Jesus didn’t stop and heal everyone.
He is our Savior, not me.
Jesus took time to rest.
Today I know without a doubt, what kind of woman rests—a smart one, full of love, compassion, and Jesus. Share on X
We all go through storms in life; some are short little ones that won’t require us to pause for long. Sometimes we will even be able to grin and bear it and rest later. However, when we are in the middle of long-lasting circumstances,—resting will be imperative. Be sure to plan and know how to rest in the midst of the unexpected.
After all, God doesn’t want us burning out, nor do the people who depend on us.
Do you struggle to rest when the needs of others seem more significant?
Discover What It Means to Be Still
Click here for more on the topic.
Embracing Faith & Mental Illness Community
Embracing Faith & Mental Illness is a Christ-centered online community for people who care for someone with a mental illness. We have four unique ways for caregivers to participate. You choose what works best for you.
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Feeling stuck, discouraged, or unsure if things can ever improve? This talk is for you. Maree Dee, Founder of Embracing Faith & Mental Illness, invites you to explore:
- Practical tools to help you move forward with renewed hope.
- Steps to take when progress feels out of reach.
- How small changes can lead to meaningful breakthroughs.
Join us for this inspiring session via Zoom on Saturday, January 4, 2025, at 9:00 AM (Mountain Time).
Love this! You had me at “Good Christians keep going.” Oh wow I have believed that and driven myself into the dirt for it. Thanks for the encouragement today!
Me too! I have believed that lie most of my life, and it gets me into trouble time and time again. I need to rest. Maree
Important advice!
I know without taking time for rest I am no good to anyone.
Jesus calls us to come and rest.
Yes, He does call us to rest. Maree
Hey Maree – I just wanted to let you know that we are featuring your post on Candidly Christian today for our Grace and Truth Link-Up. Love it!
Heather – Thank you I feel so honored. I am going to click over to see. Blessings, Maree
Great advice! I’ve gone through a similar journey.
Anita – From what I have read in your posts, I am sure you have many words of wisdom to add in this area. I love going to your website where I always find nuggets of truth on great self-care tips. Thank you for stopping by. I always look forward to seeing your name pop us with a comment. Blessings, Maree
Maree, this post is very timely as the Lord has surely been speaking to my heart on the topic of rest. I so appreciated your thoughts on knowing what drains me and knowing what makes me feel rested. I will be thinking on both of these today. Thank you for sharing your suggestions!
Joanna – I am so glad this was timely for you. Rest is hard, isn’t it? I hope you are finding some rest in your day. Thank you for sharing. Maree
Ooohhhh…this is so good.
“Know What Drains You” hit me particularly hard. I’ve never thought of that. I guess it’s time to take a deeper look!
Rebecca – Yes, knowing what drains us is vital for me. When I am headed into a draining season, I try to add more rest. But the truth is I am work in progress in this area.
Yes I used to try & do it all until I was put into forced rest by chronic ill health … says it all! Self care is so important Maree!
Bless you,
Jennifer
I bet you understand the need for rest. Any tips? I, too often, find myself forced into it. But only with a short-term illness or an injury. Maree
Resting is one of the hardest things for me to do. Why do I feel the need to press ahead, when it is obvious the best course of action would be to take a break? Working on it. Thanks for the encouragement.
Laurie – I am right there with you. I think my middle name is productivity. I thrive on it and destroy myself on it. Resting is sooooo good. Maree
Oh amen! Feelings are not facts. I often forget that but it is so true!!
Jennifer – Yes, I too forget it, but it is so true! Thank you for stopping by. Maree
Yes, resting is so important, as well as knowing your body and the signs of burn out. I often think of Christ’s words when He said, man was not made for the sabbath but the sabbath was made for man (not an exact quote) God didn’t rest on the 7th day because He needed to He did it because He knew we needed to. I think it is also important to incorporated God into our rest. Many Thanks Maree Dee Love your 5 steps to avoid burn out. 8)
Debra – I agree incorporating God into our rest is paramount. I am so glad you stopped and added your words to our conversation. Blessings, Maree
Rest . . . this has been one of my biggest struggles in this season of mothering. I am really good at pushing forward, of going and doing . . . and not so great about being still and resting. God’s been challenging me with this. And I appreciate your wise suggestions here. I need to make it more of a priority in my life. And I need to be more intentional about planning time to rest i my schedule.
Jeanne – I am glad to know I am not alone in the struggle to rest. I am right there with you. I find I have to schedule it right in. Thank you for stopping by, Maree
Weighing what you do—priorities. What eternal value does it have? These are questions we should ask of most everything we do. I like your points here Maree, and I see this is an older post. Nothing has changed though, we still need to find rest.
Pinned & tweeted.
Thanks for linking up at InstaEncouragements!
Patsy, Yes, we all do still need rest. I love your thoughts on eternal value. Thank you For sharing. Maree
Thank you so much for this. I need to bookmark it to remind myself. Yes: rest is SO important. May the LORD keep me tucked safely behind His good and perfect boundary lines.
It is hard to rest. I need the reminder often. I love your words, May the LORD keep me tucked safely behind His good and perfect boundary lines.” Blessings, Maree
Maree,
Your words are so good for my soul. I struggle with rest. These days I force myself to take it. A couple of years ago my body just gave out – I think it was God’s way of waking me up. However, what I struggle with now is actually mentally resting when I physically rest. There’s this pervading sense of, “I should be doing something.” or just of an anxiousness. I don’t even think I have a negative monologue going on. I replace those thoughts with truth 🙂 But I still struggle with it. Maybe it’s the hypervigilence I’ve had to live the last several years in parenting the unique needs of our daughter. Or maybe it will just take my nerves time to heal after that hypervigilence that was SO intense for so long. It’s better now – no where near typical – but better, so hopefully God will lead me toward that full healing so that when I obediently rest physically, I can begin to feel that peace mentally as well!
Thank you for always being such a wealth of wisdom and encouragement! I’m so thankful for you!
Blessings and smiles,
Lori
Lori,
I can relate so well to what you are saying. My life verse is “Be Still..” and it isn’t because I do it well. It is because I need it. I have always struggled with being still. I am the one that loved commercials because I could get up and do stuff during them. My family used to turn the light off so I couldn’t work. Then illness came, and we all changed. I learned how to be in the moment and boy was that an amazing change. I can’t believe all that a moment holds and being still make it even richer.
I know for me the hypervigilance gets better with time. It is not so intense as healing happens. Healing does need to take place for everyone in the family. I used to sleep a solid 8 hours and those days are long gone. I hear everything at night. Of course, it could be age, but I bet its a combination.
Praying for you as I comment back,
Blessings, Maree
Maree Dee, PS, your post was our most clicked this past week on the #LMMLinkup. Here is the feature post: http://maryanderingcreatively.com/lmmlinkup-making-faith-work/
Mary, Wow, that is so exciting. It encourages me to keep writing. Thank you for featuring me and hosting a great link-up. Hope you have had a great start to your week. Blessings, Maree
Rest is so important for us spiritually, emotionally and physically. I’m sure God intended for rest to benefit all areas of our lives. Thanks, Maree Dee.
Yes, it is so important on all levels. I hope you get some this weekend. Maree
Amen! I have been battling some physical issues that have forced rest into my vocabulary. I need it!
I am sorry about your physical issues but glad you are getting some rest. Sending prayers, Maree
Second post in a row that I’ve read on the topic of rest. . . “O.K. Lord, I hear you!”
Thank you, Maree.
Michele,
Don’t you just love that when God sends a clear message? Praying that you find some rest in your day. Blessings, Mare
Maree, these are some wise words you’ve shared. As someone going through the unexpected, I feel the need to take these words to heart. Thanks so much for sharing lessons you’ve learned along the way.
Blessings to you as you carve out some much-needed rest.
Marva,
I am so glad my words spoke to your heart. I am praying for you in your unexpected circumstances. If my memory serves me well, you were in the hurricane’s path. Is that correct? My prayers are with you, your family and your neighbors right now as I send this. Thank you for stopping by. Maree
So much truth wrapped in this post! If we aren’t resting, we aren’t receiving. It’s when we rest from striving and doing that He is able to pour into our souls. I think about it like trying to pour water into a moving cup – only a little actually enters the cup and remains. When we’re constantly on the move, we can’t receive His refreshing life-giving water poured into our lives. Then, it’s hard to pour out onto others from an empty cup!
I agree, just yesterday I was taking my usual rest from electronics, and I was amazed at all the ideas for writing that were coming at me. Of course, I didn’t write them down, so I have probably forgotten most of them. All the same, it felt wonderful.
I love the analogy of the moving cup, thank you for sharing that will all of us. I am going to take that one with me into my week.
Blessings,
Maree
Such a struggle for me, too, Maree. Just wrote this morning how surprised I am by how I quickly I still forget the need for rest. Thank you for the wisdom in this post and especially for sharing this statement:
“Jesus didn’t stop and heal everyone.
Jesus is our savior, not me.
Jesus took time to rest.”
I am right there with you. What is so strange is I am always surprised by how wonderful I feel when I rest. I find all kinds of ideas for writing etc. come to me when I rest. Hope you have a wonderful week. Thank you for stopping by and commenting. Maree
So much truth and great advice. I am the one who has had that running monologue and I am the one in the storms of life who feels like I am not doing enough. I have since learned the importance of rest. The idea of pausing my brain so I can regroup and move forward. Jesus did rest and that is what I am going to remember.
Mary, It is a hard habit to break. I have to keep reminding myself Jesus rested, God rested, and so should I. I have also come to realize no matter how much I work there will always be more work. It will never be finished. For the longest time, I thought I really could get it all done and catch up. It never happened. I hope you have a beautiful, restful Sunday. Blessings, Maree
“Jesus is the saviour, not me.” So true, but often so hard to live out! Thank you for the reminder. I sympathise with you in my negative thoughts towards ‘self care’ – but I read a great blog post one time about self-care is part of being a good steward towards our bodies, which was interesting 🙂
Emily, Thank you for sharing that point about “self-care is part of being a good steward towards our bodies.” This is true but something I rarely think about. I hope your weekend is wonderful and hold a little self-care in it. Maree
Very wise Maree! Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing this with others and listening to the Lord and writing from your heart… God bless you and your family.
Thank you! What a sweet comment, you made my day. Praying for blessing for you and your family, Maree
Thank you for this helpful and timely advice, Maree, which I know we need to take to heart! In fact, I’ve just forwarded your post to my husband and asked him to read it. Our loved one (who struggles with mental illness) and our son-in-law have two very young boys and they are without any support, except when we go to visit them in another country and give them a hand. They now have an wonderful opportunity to take some much needed rest for themselves and are planning to bring their boys to our home. However, your post reminded me that we also need to get rested up before they come since we’re in our late 60’s and will spend every bit of energy we have taking care of our grandsons during the week their parents are away. The real trick is to actually take the time out (and convince my husband of how necessary it is) to do that without feeling guilty, lazy, etc., as you have stated. The fact that Jesus himself took time to rest is such a great model for all of us! Thanks again for your honesty and sincerity…I appreciate it so much!
Bette,
I am so glad my post came at just the right time. You are so right the real trick is actually resting. I have to remind myself all of the time Jesus rested. I can’t quite seem to maintain a habit of rest. It is so good for us to have good self-care.
Hope your time with your grandkids is amazing,
Blessings,
Maree
Yes, amen friend. Love those words your counselor said to you, and love that you took His advice. Sometimes we forget we’re not in control—and, we don’t even want to be, we just don’t always realize when we’re taking on more than is ours. Great post, Maree. Thanks for sharing. — And, congrats for winning the drawing last week for Micah’s book. 😀 If you’ll send me your info, I’ll get it sent out to you. 🙂 ((hug))
Brenda – How exciting I won. Thank you for letting me know, I somehow missed it. I was so excited to congratulate you for 25 years of marriage. I will send you my address.
Quite honestly I have to constantly remind myself of what I learned that day in the counselor’s office. I had to let it sink in. I always think we are supposed to jump in and help when sometimes we are called to do the exact opposite. It is probably a good thing I was not one of Jesus’s 12 disciples; he would have been so frustrated with me. I would never have understood half of what was going on.
Hope you have a great weekend,
Maree
This is a topic that I battle on multiple facets. First, I am a Christian mental health therapist so I am routinely discussing self-care with my clients and I frequently get the push-back you described at the beginning of the post. On the flip side, I can neglect self-care, too! On top of being a therapist I have a blog and I’m wife and mommy of two. I can hear my own words to my clients in my head but struggle to take the same advice at times. Interestingly how initially when we view self-care we feel we are being selfish however when we believe we are capable of taking everything on without rest we are actually being prideful! Thank you for the reminder to rest! God bless!
Melissa, I loved your comment. I am not a mental health therapist, but I teach and lead others that have loved ones with mental illness. The pushback for self-care is huge. Most think it is impossible but it isn’t, and it is crucial. One thing that helped me was when a therapist told me I was modeling good behavior for my loved one. It was easier to do if it was someone helping my loved one. I too am good at teaching self-care but doing it is hard. I find in crises I do better because I know I have to or I won’t survive.
I have to admit you comment stung a little about “pride;” only because it was right on.
Hope you have a wonderful day!
Maree
Thank you for sharing your story. And for the wise tips about the importance of “self-care.”
Debbie,
Thank you for stopping by. Self-care is so important but seem to be so difficult to do for most women. I am getting better at it; I hope you are too.
Maree