Are you a good encourager when someone you know is in need of a little encouragement? If you are anything like me, our intentions are stellar, however – sometimes our delivery isn’t the best. We all can benefit from learning how to be the best encourager.
Here is a signal you may have missed the mark.
Someone shares with you a discouragement, and immediately you respond at full speed with many, many words. Then in the middle of your great dissertation about how they can solve their problem you hear, “I didn’t ask you to fix my problem.”
Yikes, that stings a bit. Our well-meaning words were not well received.
Over time I have found the best encouragement anyone has ever given me is to be present.
How about you?
Sometimes the very best way to encourage someone is to sit with them in their pain when we aren’t trying to alleviate it or dismiss it. I believe it is universal; no one wants to feel alone.
Today our featured writer, Lois Flowers, shares with us four “P’s” to strive for when we want to be an encourager. She leaves us with a fantastic statement to ponder.
“I’m realizing that there’s a difference between loving support and trying to make someone else feel better so that you can feel better.” Lois Flowers
Lois has a beautiful website, Waxing Gibbons where she writes about her reflections on life and faith.
Now for Our Featured Post
Encouragement for the Encouragers
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Lois, thank you for linking up with Grace & Truth. Grab a button and link back – I am sure your readers would love to celebrate with you!
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For me, presence has always been the best present. laurensparks.net
Yes, I agree. Is quality time your love language. It is mine. Maree
God has a theme going again 😀 in the above post “What do we do with Heartache…”
I’m a person who needs to be alone & quiet with God in those times, to get my head around what has happened & what to do from there. I prefer to ask if I need others to be present, as do many…we need to be wise & have God’s wisdom in those times.
I remember at the time when I lost my son, daughter & late husband…that many who came were so grieved in themselves for me & my loss that I had to support & counsel them…it was very overwhelming for me at the time, when I was trying to cope with my own grief & agony.
The greatest blessing at the time was when people asked if they could help, giving a practical suggestion ie. Chop the wood for my wood heater; do some clothes washing & ironing; go grocery shopping; help on the farm etc. & gave me the assurance that they were available to do these things if I needed them done. And I did accept their help in several of these practicalities a few days later. 😀
Blessings,
Jennifer
Jennifer,
You have had a tremendous amount of loss in your lifetime. I am so sorry. That must have been so hard to comfort others when your own grief was so much.
I know you have much to offer others in how to help. Practical is great. Thank you for reminding us that giving a practical suggestion is huge. Sometimes it feels like it is not enough.
Thank you for sharing with us.
Blessings, Maree
I used to think my high school teaching job was mostly one of encouragement to teenagers. I was a professional encourager! It is hard to know what to say in a difficult situation. I have also found that just my presence means more than any words I could come up with.
Laurie – I agree presence is usually the best we offer someone. I bet the teenagers were so blessed by your encouragement. Maree
Oh, I’ve been guilty of a few dissertations, Lois and Maree. The worse ones are where the person gets really quiet and then I realise I really missed the mark! Ouch. But God. So, thankful for His grace.
Blessings to you both.
Marva | SunSparkleShine
Marva, Yes, that is another excellent sign of when we have missed the mark. I too am so thankful for his grace. I hope you have a fabulous week. Maree
Thanks for sharing my post today, Maree. The photo you chose is perfect too. 🙂 I’m working on my “encouragement delivery” right along with you! 🙂
Lois, Yes I think we all have to work on our delivery from time to time. It was an honor to feature your post. I loved it. Blessings Maree
This sounds like a wonderful post! Heading over to check it out.
Heather, I hope you enjoyed Lois’s post as much as I did. Maree