How to Make the Most of an Unexpected Christmas

No doubt, the holidays sometimes carry some extra struggles and pain. Perhaps you never in a million years thought this season would look the way it does. Will you let the challenges and sadness steal your joy? Find out how to make the most of an unexpected Christmas. 

It almost feels like blasphemy to utter say the Christmas season isn’t wonderful. After all, shouldn’t our eyes be fixed on Christ, the reason for the season? Won’t that make everything pleasant? Warning: Be careful when we start using the term “should,” it tends to usher in a slew of unjustified guilt, which only adds to our misery. Believe it or not, we can still focus on Jesus; it doesn’t have to be our favorite season. However, we don’t want to leave it there. Don’t you want to pull out all the delight that is possible? Let’s consider why the holidays are hard for many before we jump into our ten ways to embrace an unexpected Christmas.

Why is it So Hard?

When December rolls around, slowly but surely, those unmet expectations seem to creep out of nowhere. An unfulfilled longing for what we don’t have can sneak up and take over our thoughts if we aren’t careful. As the year comes to a close, those milestones not met by us or those we love seem to plague us. Sometimes, we dwell on all that we have lost or never attained. As we look to the right and the left, everyone else seems to have what we don’t.

Do you get stuck in the comparison trap?

Maybe your season is hard because someone is missing from the celebration, a tradition has been eliminated, job loss, financial struggles, sickness, or something else. The grief we hold is significant, and it matters. No one seems to be untouched. However, it is a choice as to whether we will allow the pain to steal our joy.

My First Unexpected Christmas

One of my most memorable holidays was when the season’s pain was excruciating. My child was ill and unable to join us. It was an unexpected Christmas, the kind one never anticipates. We didn’t know how to navigate the mess, and it seemed impossible to find any joy.  

However, we clung tightly to the hand of God as He guided us. We trusted the Lord would bring beauty out of the pain, and He did. One of the most valuable lessons I learned is that we must grieve our losses as they come, and trying to hide them does not help.  

If you want to find out why that first unexpected Christmas was so memorable, read “When Holiday Traditions Hurt to the Core.” Plus, over on that post, I have a downloadable printout you might like.

Holidays and significant events still tend to hold a certain degree of pain and loss. I am often reluctant to acknowledge my sadness because the suffering of those around me seems greater. You see, I’m a momma of loved ones with mental illness, and the holidays are tough for them, so speaking of my struggles seems wrong. Yet, over time I have learned.

However, beyond grieving our losses, there are other ideas to help with a difficult holiday.  

Ten Ways to Make the Most of an Unexpected Christmas

1. God First

Seek God first in the day. Kneeling before God and letting His word seep into our souls is helpful. We can schedule it right into our calendar as a non-negotiable appointment.

After all,

“The Lord gives strength to His people;
the Lord blesses His people with peace.”

(PSALM 29:11, NIV)

2. Acceptance

Say aloud, “It is what it is.” There is no need to waste time fretting and wishing circumstances were different. Worrying about what could have been or what we want it to be will only zap our energy. 

3. Grieve Losses

We must permit ourselves to acknowledge and mourn our hurts. Stuffing or pretending they don’t exist will only worsen the suffering, and it always leaks out. Of course, it is sad; Christmas is not what we thought it would be. It is healthy to grieve the sadness we feel. Go ahead and mourn the milestones not yet reached and all we are missing this season. Grieve because when we do, it will allow us to see what we have.

4. Determine Priorities 

Determine ahead of time what is most important. Let go of the least. Finding a method to keep those priorities at the forefront of our minds will help. 

5. Let Go

Release those unmet expectations, the losses, and the tasks undone. Put them all at the foot of the cross and let God have them. 

6. Treasure Relationships

Find creative ways to connect with others. We can’t let isolation be our excuse. Take the time to love others intentionally.  

I often repeat a mantra: “Relationships are the most important thing.” In those intense, overwhelming moments, which seem to be more frequent in December, the connection matters the most. It is not about being right or getting something accomplished, but the gift God gave me to be in a relationship with others. 

7. Count Blessings  

Focusing on being grateful causes our attitudes to change, and an abundance of love flows through our hearts. It opens our eyes to what we have instead of what we lack.  

8. Choose Joy

We are capable of feeling great joy and great sadness at the same time. One will not cancel the other out. Yes, it is unfortunate we have an unexpected Christmas with losses galore. However, we can also feel joy for what we have, but we must choose it.

9. Live in the Present Moment

Look for the joy in what or who is before you. We don’t have to live yesterday and tomorrow challenges right now. Sometimes the current minute will ache but better to experience only one moment of pain rather than all the past and future suffering.

 “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.”
(MATTHEW 6:34, NIV)

10. Let Love Be Our Guide

Join us on social media as we explore Intentional Christmas Love during December. 

Let’s not let the challenges steal our joy. There is a way to get the most out of an unexpected Christmas. It might not be easy, and I certainly struggle from time to time. However, having a plan and knowing where to turn will help. We can choose this holiday season to head in with our priorities set and choose Joy despite our circumstances.  

Intentional Christmas Love

Embracing Faith & Mental Illness Community

Embracing Faith & Mental Illness is a Christ-centered online community for people who care for someone with a mental illness. We have four unique ways for caregivers to participate. You choose what works best for you.

Click here to discover four unique ways for caregivers to participate.

We would love to have you join our community.

Embracing the Unexpected | Maree Dee

Subscribe today and never miss a post!