Do You Need to Hide Your Pain?

When life throws unexpected challenges your way, do you ever feel the need to hide your pain? Maybe you’re afraid of being judged or misunderstood. The pressure might even intensify if you’re a Christian. After all, aren’t we supposed to be strong in the Lord?

We often hear that our faith should be unwavering and that showing weakness is almost akin to doubting God’s power in our lives. However, is that how God intended us to live, hiding what we feel? After all, we are human, created with emotions and feelings by our Creator.

Being strong in the Lord doesn’t mean we must bury our pain, deny our struggles, or pretend everything is okay. We can lean on our faith and express our battles, doubts, and fears. One doesn’t cancel out the other; in fact, they often go hand in hand.

Sometimes, We Mask Our True Feelings

Looking back, I can see how I used to mask my true feelings. When life surprised me with difficulties, I would put on a brave face and pretend everything was good. I would tell myself that not showing my vulnerabilities would protect my faith and relationships. But the reality was far from it—my life was full of imperfections.

Consumed with what others might think— I often wondered if they would see my weaknesses and flaws and question if my faith was genuine. So, I hid behind a facade, wearing a mask that didn’t reflect the turmoil inside me or what was happening in my life. This false front didn’t bring me closer to people or the Lord—it pushed them away. After all, who wants to connect with someone who seems to have it all together? This pretense builds walls instead of bridges.

This kind of hiding can become a habit, ingrained over years of trying to live up to expectations—both our own and those imposed by others. In the church, there can sometimes be an unspoken rule that we must always appear joyful and that faith equals constant happiness. This concept is a misunderstanding of what faith truly is.

Hiding isolates us not only from others but also from God. When we’re busy keeping up appearances, we’re not being honest with ourselves, others, or our Creator. Moreover, this illusion of perfect faith focuses on our strengths and abilities, not God’s. It’s an attempt to control how we’re perceived instead of letting God’s strength be made perfect in our weakness.

What’s the Right Way to Express Our Pain to God?

We can be honest with God about our pain. The Bible gives many examples of people who brought their pain to God, not with a polished, perfect prayer, but with raw, unfiltered emotion. Take David, for instance, who penned many of the Psalms. His writings fill the pages with expressions of pain, fear, and even anger. He didn’t hold back from God; he poured out his heart and shared what was on his heart.

In her article “It’s Okay to Say It Hurts,” Barbara Harper distinguishes between lamenting and complaining. She reminds us that Scripture is full of people who openly express their emotions to God. She reveals a crucial element ensuring our lamenting doesn’t become an earful of complaining. We must focus on God’s strength, even in our moments of sorrow.

We can have an unshakable faith while expressing our grief, disappointment, and anger. Faith doesn’t mean we never feel anything besides joy; it means trusting God with those complex emotions. After all, God is big enough to handle our most complex emotions and will not love us any less for having them. Remember, even Jesus cried out to God.

(Hebrew 5:7 NLT)

Jesus, the perfect Son of God, wept. He felt deep sorrow and expressed it openly. He didn’t hide His pain from His Father but brought His sorrows before the Lord in the most vulnerable way possible.

The misconception that faith is incompatible with sorrow or struggle is dangerous because it can lead to a cycle of shame and isolation. We tend to pull away from God and others when we feel like we’re failing at faith because we’re in pain. But the truth is that faith often grows in the soil of our deepest struggles. It’s in those moments of raw honesty with God that our relationship with Him deepens. We learn to trust Him with our joys, successes, wounds, and failures.

Bring Your Pain to The Lord

So, what does bringing our pain before God healthily look like? It starts with honesty. We need to admit to ourselves that we’re struggling and hurting. This unveiling can be difficult, especially if we’ve spent years convincing ourselves that we must always be strong. But vulnerability is the first step toward healing.

Next, we need to bring that honesty before God. Our words don’t have to be polished prayers or carefully crafted messages. It can be as simple as saying, “God, I’m hurting. I don’t know what to do. Please help me.” The important thing is to come before Him with an open heart, willing to lay everything at His feet.

Find a Community of Support

Remembering that we don’t have to do this alone is also helpful. God has given us a community of believers for a reason. Sometimes, sharing our pain with others can be a powerful way of bringing it before God. When we allow others to walk alongside us in our struggles, we experience God’s love and support through them. There is incredible healing in being seen, heard, and supported by others who share our faith.

It’s easy to feel like we’re burdening others with our struggles, but the truth is that God directs us to carry each other’s burdens. Sharing our pain with others who care about us can be profoundly comforting and healing.

“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” 
(Galatians 6: 2 ESV)

Stop Hiding Your Pain From Others and God

You don’t need to hide your pain from others—or God. If you have a habit of hiding, I encourage you to take a step toward honesty today. Begin by acknowledging your pain to yourself. Then, bring it before God in whatever way feels natural to you. Whether through prayer, journaling, or talking with a trusted friend, let yourself be honest with Him. Remember, God’s love for you isn’t dependent on how strong you appear. He sees you in your weakest moments and loves you just as much as He does in your strongest.

Perhaps you’ve been hiding your pain for a long time, believing that to show it would be to admit to some defeat. God didn’t create us to live in isolation or carry the world’s weight on our shoulders alone.
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Give Yourself Grace

Finally, we need to give ourselves grace. Healing is a process, and it often takes time. God is patient with us, and we must be caring with ourselves, too. Taking things one day at a time is okay. What’s important is that we keep coming back to God, again and again, trusting that He is with us, even in our darkest moments.

The Vulnerability Struggle

If you’re struggling with the idea of being vulnerable, start small. It might be as simple as letting a trusted friend know that you’re going through a tough time. Or maybe it’s about allowing yourself to cry in prayer instead of holding back those tears.

Vulnerability is a muscle that grows stronger with use. The more you practice it, the more you’ll find it’s not as terrifying as it seems. It can be one of the most freeing experiences of your life.

Remember Jesus Understands

One of the most beautiful things about being a Christian is knowing that we worship a God intimately acquainted with our suffering. Jesus isn’t just a distant deity who watches us from afar; He’s the God who came to earth, lived among us, and experienced the full range of human emotion. He knows what it’s like to be in pain, feel abandoned, and wrestle with despair. And because He knows, He can meet us in those places with an unmatched compassion.

When we bring our pain to God, we’re not giving it to someone indifferent or who will judge us for our feelings. We’re bringing it to the One who has walked the path of suffering Himself, understands our pain, and promises to be with us every step of the way. There is something deeply comforting in knowing that God draws near to us in our most broken moments.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” 
(Psalm 34:18 (NIV)

Let the Healing Begin

If you’re holding hidden pain today, remember that you don’t have to carry it alone. You don’t have to hide it from God or others. The path to healing begins with honesty—with yourself, God, and the people around you. And as you walk that path, you’ll find strength in vulnerability, grace in being honest about your struggles, and deep, abiding love waiting for you at every turn.

Take that first step. Open your heart, and let the healing begin. You are not alone and deeply loved, as you are—pain, tears, and all.

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