At first glance, one might think the question, “Do you want to be happy?” to be absurd. After all, doesn’t everyone want happiness? However, if you genuinely desire happiness you must choose to work towards it and avoid the pitfall of unhappiness?
What Keeps One from Being Happy?
Not Seeking God’s Joy First
When we don’t fill ourselves with God’s joy first, our happiness may be hindered or not felt as deep. When we fail to abide in Christ, it will have an impact on us. This relationship is the most important and your life depends on it.
Excuses
Do you make up excuses up as to why you can’t find happiness right now? Maybe you are waiting to finish a big task or things to improve. But I have to tell you usually there is just another problem, responsibility or inconvenience down the line. We must learn to quit using excuses and find happiness now not tomorrow.
Perhaps your life has turned so far upside down you couldn’t imagine letting even a glimmer of joy into it. You are thinking “Maree; if you only knew, you would understand happiness can’t be part of my story right now.”
Joy and happiness are possible even in the midst of the unexpected. Many times we allow excuses to create a lie in our thinking.
Comparison
Do you compare your life to everyone else’s? In this day and age, it is pretty hard not to fall prey to the comparison trap. We fill social media with our best. We see beautiful happy people. Comparing ourselves to the beautiful smiling people we see will rob us of our joy.
I try hard not to compare, but sometimes it sneaks up on me.
As I heard over the intercom, “We have reached 10,000 feet you may now take out your large electronics.” Quickly I pulled and manipulated my stuff to pull out my computer, but the lady next to me caught my eye.
She was dressed so stylishly with her bags so neatly placed under her seat, all fitting with such perfection. Of course, she had a matching suit, shoes, purse, briefcase and water bottle to go along with the entire look. Next, I looked up at her computer to see a gorgeous colored spreadsheet, and I couldn’t push the thoughts aside.
“She has stolen my life, my dream, that should be me not her.”
Of course, I had no idea what her life was like beyond the presentation. She most likely had her own deep dark secrets, pain disappointments, and longings.
I know on that particular day the woman next to me looked like the woman I dreamed of being and it nicked away at my joy.
Not Counting Our Blessings
When we don’t take the time to count our blessings, our focus tends to go towards what we don’t have which increases our unhappiness.
God gave me a different story from the woman above. He chose me to walk alongside people who hurt to the core. No, it is not always glamorous, and it is many times painful, but you know what my passion in life has always been – to help others. It fills my soul when I can make another’s road just a little bit better. When I don’t count my blessings, I lose sight of my joy.
Seeking Perfection or Productivity over Happiness
Confession – I love to check off boxes and be productive. Many times it brings me happiness. However, I tend to take it past excellence right into striving for perfection if I am not careful. (To read more about perfectionism click here.)
Always Putting the Needs of Others Before Ours
Wait, doesn’t the Bible tell us to put others first? Yes, it is good to think of others, yet we are important too. If we do not take care of ourselves first, we are not good for anyone else.
Remember when we fly we are reminded to put our oxygen mask on first. Jesus demonstrated this over and over again in the Bible as he went off to pray and take time for himself.
Are you the one always pouring into everyone else? Who fills your cup?
Not Feeling Worthy
If we don’t believe we are worthy of happiness, it will make it pretty hard to find. God reminds us over and over again we are valuable.
Letting Someone Else’s Pain Block Your Joy
Sometimes we don’t feel entitled to it because someone we love is hurting. Last week I wrote, “When Joy Feels Wrong in the Midst of the Unexpected.” Click here to read it.
Not Knowing What Makes Us Happy
Sometimes we don’t know what makes us happy. Especially as seasons in our life change. It is not unusual to find ourselves unhappy with the things we used to like.
Busyness
Do you have any white space on your calendar or do you pack it so tight you can barely breathe?
What blocks your happiness? It can and will look different for each of us.
When You Want to Add More Happiness to Your Life
Admit You Need More
If you don’t recognize the void, you won’t be apt to add more to your life. Take a piece of paper out, draw a line down the middle. Next, on one side write down what you have done for yourself in the last week and on the other what you have done for others.
Find Your Joy in God First
Take a look at how much time you are spending with God in your day. Experiment if it makes a difference as to the time of day.
Deem Yourself Worthy of Both Joy & Happiness
Don’t you think God wants you to be joyful and happy? Look up verses which talk about your worth and the joy Jesus wants us to have.
Count Your Blessings
Start writing your blessings down in a journal so they can be counted.
Make a List of What Makes You Happy
Keep in mind our lists will look drastically different from one another and that is okay. You might like a foot rub, while I despise anyone touching my feet. After you make a list start journaling when you do one of those things.
Make Space for it
Maybe it’s time to reevaluate what you said, “Yes” to and whether it should have been a “no.” Pull out that schedule and see if you have any extra room for any happiness. It might mean scheduling it in.
Learn to Live in the Present Moment
We have no idea what tomorrow brings so don’t waste the present precious moment. Click here to read “How to Take in More Joy in the Present Moment.”
When God put the word “Joy” on my heart as a spiritual goal, I was perplexed as I told you in my post, “Do You Know What Makes You Happy?” Click here to read. I was happy and joyful. What I didn’t understand was God wanted even more for me than I could comprehend. I am changing my spiritual goal to I choose joy and happiness! I want what God wants for me.
Please don’t think for a moment I have this figured out or think it is a simple fix. I am a work in progress. My journal of “What Makes Me Happy” sits by the bedside with very few words written in it. Then just the other day as the “Yes’s” slipped from my lips I knew I had just robbed myself of happiness. I get hung up on all the items listed above from time to time.
Many of us will have extra obstacles like chemical imbalances, physical disabilities, and challenging circumstances. These can make it harder to find our joy and happiness but not impossible. Pain and Joy can coexist as well as suffering and happiness.
However, the question remains, “Do you want to be happy?” The kind of joy and happiness God wants you to have? If the answer is yes, will you be willing to do what it takes to attain it?
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Embracing the Unexpected | Maree Dee
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In God’s presence there is ultimate joy and happiness. 🙂 God designed us to be happy.
I couldn’t agree with you more. God did design us for joy and happiness. Blessings, Maree
Great post. Especially the list that keeps us from experiencing happiness. I was just listening to a podcast about how excuses can keep us from finishing things and from starting things. Hadn’t thought of them as keeping us from happiness, but yes, we often make excuses about why we will allow ourselves to be happy when . . .
Theresa, The podcast you were listening too sounds like something I need. Excuses don’t usually keep me from finishing things up, but boy do they stop me stuck from ever getting started. I want to start a book but find all the reason why I shouldn’t. Hoping you had a joy-filled weekend and even better week. Blessings, Maree
I think being thankful is such an important part of the equation. For me personally, not making enough white space in my schedule is a issue I fight a lot.
Donna,
I agree gratitude is key and some white space. I fight scheduling in white space.The older I get, the less white space I seem to have. This makes no sense. However, don’t you find your passions grow deeper, and the opportunities all seem so great? I know “Best Yes” answers are what need to be made. Hope you are having a wonderful week.
Maree Dee, This really spoke to me when I was in a dark pit hosting a pity party. Thank you. I compare myself to others too often. I left the pity party, opened my Bible, and focused on truths. God loves me just as I am!
Krista, Music to my ears, I am so glad my post helped you end a pity party. Your words encouraged me. Blessings, Maree
This is such an insightful, inspirational and gently challenging post. It has succeeded in reminding me of my #oneword365 for 2018. God gave me “joy” and I have signally failed to live into the promise of it or fully appreciate the many joy stealers in my life. Now I can see why I might have been tripped up so much. I needed this timely word. Thank you, Maree! 🙂
Joy, You are not alone. For some reason, this week has just gotten away from me. It has been a painful week remembering someone we love that is no longer with us. I have been right where I need to be and want to be, but I have failed to make sure to include a little happiness or things that bring me joy along the way. I am so glad you stopped by to read and leave a comment. It is fun knowing we share the same word. Maree
Oops! I accidentally hit some button that made my comment post before I had finished! lol! I loved this post, though, friend, and am sharing everywhere! The enemy loves to make us see all that is wrong to keep us disheartened. He wants to steal our joy and take our eyes of the Lord. But when we choose joy intentionally and keep our eyes on God, we can walk in victory and have happiness ♥
Lori – Thank you for your encouraging comments and sharing my post with others. I agree the enemy sure can mess with us but of course only if we let him. Taking your advice and keeping my eyes on the Lord today. Together we can choose joy. Maree
Another inspiring and thought provoking post, Maree
Hi Maree, You’ve shared a lot of great insights and wisdom here. Speaking for myself, too often I’m looking to others to make me happy, when the reality is, true joy only comes from the Lord.
Thanks for sharing.
Karen, I agree true joy does come from the Lord. Praying your weekend is full of joy. Blessings, Maree
Maree: Great post. We often want happiness, but make excuses for why we can’t have it now, or we delay it, when we need to just get busy choosing to be happy and taking steps to be happy. Great article.
Theresa, I agree we just need to choose it and make the right steps to attain it. Thank you for stopping by. Maree
Wow, Maree Dee! This is SO spot on. It made me think of Ephesians 3:20 – one of my favorites. I am pinning this so I can reference back to it. Thank you!
Alyson, I love the verse you mentioned. I have been stuck on a verse to use on Sunday. I just might use this one.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, Ephesians 3:20
Thank you for your encouraging comment and pinning my post. Hope your weekend is fabulous. Maree
Yes & Amen, finding my happiness & joy through chronic health conditions! Praise Him for this gift of time with Him!
Remember you’re always welcome to drop by for a cuppa together!
Jennifer
Jennifer, I would love to hear more about your story. I will stop on by and take a look. I love hearing real-life stories about people finding joy and happiness through struggles. So glad you have God through your chronic health conditions. Praying for you as I send this. Maree
What a practical and encouraging post, Maree!
I’m sharing this one all around today.
Sure do appreciate you and your ministry~
Melanie
Melanie, Thank you!!! What a wonderful note to read right before I turn the lights out. Maree
Wow, Maree, you’ve left no stone unturned on this one, exposing our excuses and our hiding places all at once. Thanks for the thought and deep honesty that are shining through every word here.
Michele, Thank you! I appreciate your kind words and taking the time to leave a message. Hope you had a great week. Maree
This article (or “life guide” as I often refer to your writings) was perfect timing. The past three years with an adult child in crisis has left my spirit drained. Through prayer, a great counselor and writings such as yours have “entitled” me to more joy in my life. It is a daily struggle and takes conscious effort, but present moments seem to be the focus for me… getting out of my head, stop overthinking, and endless worrying about the next crisis. Thank you for your contributions to making me and others embrace our lives and choose happiness. So grateful for you!
Chele, Wow, What an encouraging comment to refer to my post as a “life guide.” You have started my day with “joy.” I love knowing something I have written has touched your heart. Thank you, I too am grateful for you. We have to stick together as we journey through life. We all need each other. Blessings – Maree
I used to really struggle with not feeling like I was worthy of a happy fulfilled life. Not feeling good enough in the eyes of the Lord. I was raised around some very judgmental Christians and it caused me to lose hope that I would ever be good enough for a while. But then I matured and did my own research and reading, tons of reading. I still have moments of feeling not good enough but I keep a list of promises from the Bible to remind me to focus on the truth. thanks for sharing.
Deanna, I am so sorry you were subject to people who judged you. I admire your diligence in learning it isn’t true. I like the idea of keeping promises from the Bible close by. Thank you for sharing the idea. Blessings, Maree
Maree Dee, thank you for such a great post! I loved how you broke down the ways in which we struggle and then provided some key take–aways for us to pursue happiness in our lives. Overwhelm certainly isn’t because we have too much to do. It’s not knowing what to do. You’ve given such a powerful word of encouragement for those who feel overwhelmed and who need to just take that one step towards choosing happiness and ultimately the joy that God offers!
Sonya, Thank you for your encouraging words. I appreciate them. Hope you are having a wonderful week. I too want to consistently choose happiness and the joy God has for each of us. Maree
This: ” When I don’t count my blessings, I lose sight of my joy.” I said, “YESSS”, out loud as I was reading. I have been convicted of this recently. It’s something that should be so simple and easy to do, but so many of us forget to to do it on a daily basis. I really enjoyed your post and shared it on Pinterest for more to see!
Thank you for sharing my post for others to read. I appreciate it. You are so right counting our blessings is so simple and easy and yet I skipped it today. I too want to get better at it. Blessings, Maree
Choosing joy. It’s a must. And your so right other people we think we should be like have problems too, and I’m going for His perfection not mine. Joining you at Holley’s today.
I like what you said, “I’m going for His perfection, not mine.” I am going to have to remember that when I get caught up in striving for the wrong things. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your wisdom. Maree
Amen to all of this! I think my biggest issue right now is making space for things. Whether my husband stays home so I go do something fun or I make room in my schedule, it is up to me to figure out how to make things happen!
Sarah,
I am right there with you. I have to be intentional, or I don’t do it.
Maree