Have you found yourself in a mood that seems to clash with the current season? Perhaps the “Happy” in Thanksgiving is fading quickly as one unexpected event after another occurs. However, it is not too late to salvage the season. Embracing two very opposite feelings at the same time is possible.
My Thanksgiving Plan Gone Awry
One November, due to a water leak, we had no choice but to repipe the house. The timing couldn’t have been worse; after all, it was my year to host my favorite holiday—Thanksgiving. As I looked around our home, the walls seemed to reflect my frustration.
Everywhere my eyes darted, I could see rough, patched-up walls, and it was pretty apparent the inside of our house desperately needed to be painted. We quickly hunted for a good painter who could fit us in.
Aha, we found a painter available. The only catch was that it would be the week before Thanksgiving. Of course, we said yes.
I love to do big projects right before a gathering. Don't you? Isn't that when we reorganize the closets that no one will ever see? Or clean out the Tupperware drawer in case someone helps with cleanup. #gratitude… Share on XYes, it could have waited. Without a doubt, my family could have cared less what my house looked like; they only wanted to be together. But no, that is not how we seem to operate around here.
A Glimmer of Hope
On Monday, I was thrilled to see the workers were finishing up the central part of the painting. This meant I could finally get in there and start my work. I put on my “superwoman” cape and cleaned alongside my husband. We kicked it into overdrive, moving all the furniture and tidying up the mess. After all, doesn’t everybody clean before the professional cleaners come?
I was pleased with my ability to get things done, and then it happened.
The Next Hard Event
At first, I felt a slight tingling sensation in my face, followed by a wave of nausea, and sounds around me began to amplify. I tried my best to ignore what was happening, but then, suddenly, I was hit with a full-blown migraine—the kind you can’t wish away. What terrible timing!
A Habit of Embracing Gratitude
No worries. I had been on a mission all month, practicing “Thirty Days of Gratitude.” No headache was going to take me down. I anticipated the migraine, as the smell of paint was likely a trigger. Quickly, I embraced my “two things can be true” attitude and sprinkled it with gratitude.
Two opposite things can be true. Sprinkle it with gratitude and what a change it can make. # gratitude Share on XSure, a headache was an annoyance and would create the need to rest a bit. However, with years of experience managing my migraines, I knew this would only be a short detour thanks to some effective medication. So, I wisely called it a day, allowing my body and mind to take a break, knowing that tomorrow would be a new day.
One More Unexpected Happening
The next day, as the sun began to rise, I was raring to go. I headed to the outside refrigerator to transfer the turkey and Costco items to the main fridge. When I stepped into the garage, something felt odd, but I couldn’t quite grasp it. There was an unusual stillness. However, I didn’t want to dwell on it; after all, I had a lot to accomplish and only a few hours left before our guests arrived.
Grabbing the handle to the fridge, I pulled it open. To my dismay, it was dark as could be. I almost immediately screamed, “No, this can’t be happening.” The fridge my husband wanted to get rid of quit working. How could this be?
Have you ever noticed when one thing starts to unravel, it all seems to go?
Do Bad Things Happen to Bad People
I marched back upstairs, holding back my tears, and said to my husband, “Bad things happen to bad people, and I must be bad.”
With a confident tone, he made a gallant attempt to assure me I wasn’t bad. He then headed straight to the garage to survey the damage. Of course, I followed his footsteps, peering around him as he began putting his hands on our turkey. He looked back and said, “Maree, it’s fine; the turkey is still a little cold.” His words brought me no comfort. There was no way I would cook, serve, and endure the hours afterward, waiting to see if our twenty guests would fall ill.
Our family has had their fair share of unexpected happenings much larger than a turkey gone bad, migraines, a house that needs painting, or water leaks. We would consider each of those minor inconveniences unimportant in the big scheme of life.
However, many times, the small, unexpected things in life seem to overwhelm me and steal my peace. At first, this baffled me, but then I took a closer look and observed that my approach was quite different.
Do the small, unexpected happenings in life tend to bewilder you? Why?
The Small Stuff in Life
The reason is simple: When it comes to minor annoyances in life, I tend to attempt them using my strength, not God’s.
Does this sound at all familiar, or am I the only one?
Plus, I had skipped my morning time with God to accomplish the tasks at hand. Somehow, I justified that God could take a back seat for a bit since I could handle this small stuff on my own.
This lack of time with God, in turn, left me with no sense of peace as one thing after another kept happening. I could only see that the malfunctioning refrigerator had ruined our dinner. Time was short, and life suddenly felt overwhelming.
But when we align with God and sit still with Him, life becomes more manageable, even in the little things. Practicing gratitude will also help us see beyond our current circumstances.
Maybe it isn’t a dumb turkey or a house in disarray that has you overwhelmed and unable to see two things that can be true. It could be painful, like an empty chair around your table this holiday season. I get it. We will have an empty chair, too, and it hurts.
We must not dismiss our pain, but instead embrace it and seek the other truths in our situation.
Two Opposites Can Be True
- Tears may fall, and laughter can be present.
- Sadness can exist, and joy can abound.
- An empty chair may bring sadness, but we can find joy in the people who are present around us.
- Circumstances can be harsh, yet there is always a reason to be grateful.
- We have foods that we dislike, while there are other dishes that we find delicious.
- Our homes may not be perfectly put together; however, we have space to gather.
- Our lists may remain unfinished; let’s take a moment to reflect on what we have accomplished.
- The turkey is useless, and we have the resources to replace it this year.
- We can incorporate happiness into Thanksgiving, even if we also feel some sadness.
- We may ache for those in heaven while embracing our loved ones here.
- Yes, it is possible for it to feel like both fall and winter at the same time.
What Helps Us Embrace Two Things at the Same Time
1. When We Start Our Day with God
God will provide you with the hope, peace, and strength needed to embrace today. When we fix our eyes on Him, we can persevere through any unexpected event, whether big or small.
2. Recognizing Two Things That Appear Opposite Can Coexist
It is important to understand that pain and joy can coexist. Recognizing that one does not have to cancel out the other is essential.
3. Counting Our Blessings
Embrace a mindset of gratitude and recognize your blessings.
We recommend reading the article “10 Powerful Reasons to Embrace Gratitude, Even in Tough Times?” Additionally, you may find “How to Embrace Gratitude in the Midst of the Unexpected” helpful. Both articles will help you to begin counting your blessings even when things go awry.
“Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.”
(Colossians 4:2 NIV)
Remember, Two Things Can Be True at the Same Time
What two things will you be embracing this season?
I wish you an incredible Thanksgiving season, even in the midst of the unexpected. I hope you will join me in embracing sadness with joy this season. One does not have to cancel the other out.
“Two Things Can Be True at the Same Time” has been featured at
Embracing 30 Days of Gratitude
Discover how unlocking the power of thankfulness can help draw you closer to God and bring more joy into your life! Our 30-day gratitude workbook includes daily gratitude prompts, scriptures/quotes, and a place to record your thoughts. Our journal will be available free in November.
We’re getting ready to have our pipes replaced – leaks are starting. Who ever heard of having to replace water pipes? And I so understand how it’s the little things that break “the camel’s back” – so to speak. We’re having a full house this year, but not everyone will be here. Thankful for those who will be sitting around the table with us. We have 4 extra in our house (including a baby and 3 year old) for a few more weeks until their new house is ready – so there’s more chaos, more noise – and I am so blessed that it is there because I recognize that it won’t always be like this, especially when our two college student sons graduate. Overwhelmed and heart overflowing are probably my two opposites! I’m gathering the good things and letting the other stuff go! Blessed! Happy Thanksgiving, Maree! ~ Maryleigh
Maryleigh,
Thank you for sharing your two opposites. I hope your Thanksgiving was extra special. The extra chaos sounds wonderful but yes, a little overwhelming too.
Sorry about your pipes. I hope the damage to replace them isn’t too bad.
Maree
Maree,
Like you, I’ve told God to climb in the backseat a time or two, because I thought I could handle _____ on my own. Wrong! I have found during this COVID season that I have to spend time with God and in His Word early in the day, every day. It’s become my non-negotiable. This Thanksgiving, I will be filled with gratitude for my bountiful blessings, but at the same time sad for the continuing strained relationships with my two grown children.
Blessings,
Bev xx
Bev,
I hear you, and I am sending prayers for you right now. I, too, will be counting my blessings and sad for the family members who won’t be with us. I am so glad you have time to spend with God in the morning. It is the best, isn’t it. For the most part, it is my non-negotiable, but of course, once in a while, I deviate, and I always regret it. Happy Thanksgiving! Maree
Your story reminded me of a water issue we had once at Thanksgiving. We had 20 guests at our house and no water! Thank you for reminding us that it is God’s strength that gets us through crises, not our own.
Oh no, that must have been so challenging to be without water. I agree it’s all God that gets us through. I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Maree
Thanks Maree, the article is great. I totally understand what you are trying to say. My problem is a lack of joy. As far as I know joy is a result of things being and going well, not a choice. Joy comes from a life that has purpose and meaning. Life without purpose and meaning isn’t a blessing. What is a blessing? A blessing is something that makes life better and or easier. Counting “your” blessings, what does that mean? Can you count something as “your” blessing if it is given to everybody? Air to breathe is not a blessing for just me. If God gives something to everybody then is it actually a blessing? What I do know is that a life without purpose, meaning, skills, talents, family, friends, hope, love, God (always absent and silent), isn’t a blessing. Just being alive isn’t a blessing. I am not saying that you or your article are wrong, just that not everyone has a blessed life. No offense but I find that most people that say “count your blessings” are people that have multiple blessings. People with family, people with friends, people with skills and talents, people with purpose and or meaning, people with the resources to help poor people, and people whose life God is actually involved in. I want a life with joy, but have nothing that brings joy to my life. Thanks for your post(s), muchly appreciated. I look forward to finding them in my inbox. May God Bless You, in Jesus name, Amen.
Kenneth,
I always appreciate your honesty in your comments. Even when you might disagree, you are always so encouraging, and it means the world.
Thank you for sharing where you are at. My heart aches for the place you are at. I can’t imagine living void of joy or blessings. It has to feel awful. I won’t fire back with solutions, but I will answer the questions you presented.
What is a blessing? Wow, that is a hard one to put into words. I think a blessing can be as simple as a bird chirping, something that makes your life better, a gift God bestows on you, health, a word of encouragement, a smile from a stranger, etc. However, I do believe we have to choose to see it and count it.
Can you count something as “your” blessing if it is given to everybody? Absolutely. However, everyone won’t count it because they aren’t looking. Once it is taken away, then they may realize what they had.
If God gives something to everybody, then is it actually a blessing? Yes! Again, He has given many things to all of us, but only some will choose to see.
I agree that people who say, “count your blessings” appear to have been blessed by much. But don’t let that fool you. My guess is they, too, have had hardship and have traveled through the dark. I know it is true for me. Because of struggle, hardship, and tremendous pain, I see more blessings. But it is a conscious decision to look and find the blessings. It started as a choice, then became a habit, and it requires me to slow down and be present in the moment. I don’t always do it well. But I have found having an attitude of gratitude leads to more happiness and joy but not the other way around.
We are more than halfway through our 30-day gratitude challenge on social media. I would love to have you join us. There is also a downloadable workbook.
Blessings and prayers,
Maree
So often life is conflicting emotions. And we do need to embrace the two at the same time. I have been thinking of this a lot this month. You put words to some of my thoughts.
Yes! I used to think both could not be embraced at the same time. Thank goodness I came around to the truth.
Migraines 🙁 Bless your heart! I used to have them a lot until I cut sugar out of my diet. This was such an encouraging post, Maree. Thank you!
Tweeted.
Thanks for linking up at InstaEncouragements!
Patsy, Wow, I am impressed you cut out sugar. That might be the next thing I tackle. Right now, I am giving up diet coke. Thank you for sharing. Maree
You’ve articulated the holidays so beautifully, Maree! It’s amazing how opposite things can be true.
Thank you! I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Blessings, Maree
I truly loved this. I read it twice. I pinned it twice. It was like reading my life story. Love. Love. Love. 💕
You made my day. I am so glad my post resonated with you and it was worth r3ading twice. I hope you had a wonderful weekend. Blessings, Maree
Yes….I have lost a lot….but gained a lot.
I have a job and a home. Before…I was in despair living with unlovely people who shows no hospitality and wanted me gone from their home …even threatened to call the police when I could not leave right away…But God provided a home and a job .
I thank God that He is greater than us humans.
Humans including friends can be cruel, mean, and unmercifull.
Do you know why, they have let the poison root of bitterness take over and defile many. They have become angry and lash out at others.
I thank God that by His grace, I am determined not to be a bitter, angry, and ungrateful woman.
Proverbs says to stay away from people like that.
Kalyani – I am so glad you are not bitter, and you can see all the good in your life. I feel sorry for the people who hang on to anger and bitterness. They, seem so unhappy. I too am so grateful for the good in my life. Blessings, Maree
I love this, Maree. I really need it right now! I’m actually 12 weeks pregnant, and I’m very sick with hyperemesis gravidarum. I basically can’t get off the couch or out of the house and spend hours on the bathroom floor. It’s plain old hard. Today’s reading reminded me that just because it’s hard, doesn’t mean it isn’t still so so good… a blessing in the waiting. Thank you!
Stacey – Yes, you do have a “blessing the waiting.” What a wonderful way to put it. I am praying for you right now. I am so sorry you are so sick. It does sound awful but glad you can count your blessings too. Praying for some relief today. Maree
Really enjoyed this! I am very guilty of letting the small things overwhelm me and looking at only the one thing and not embracing both truths. Thank you so much for sharing this!
Angela, It is easy to let the small things get to us. However, it always seems to take me by surprise. Blessings, Maree
Thanks for sharing this! I appreciate your insight. The theme of this is very similar to another blog post I just read recently. I think God may be trying to tell me something?! Coming over from Holley’s linkup #27
Bethany – I love it when God comes at us with a message in many ways. It helps me to stand up and listen. Thank you for stopping by and visiting. Blessings, Maree
Thank you for this encouragement, Maree. I especially love this – “Don’t dismiss your pain, embrace it but along with it be on the lookout for the other truth in your situation.” I need to remember they can coexist and I need to do it more often. Thanksgiving blessings and hugs to you!
Thank you for pointing out what spoke to you. I hope you had a fantastic Thanksgiving. Blessings, Maree
This is so true! I think we often feel joy and sorrow simultaneously. Seeking the blessings and embracing the good even in the midst of the challenges makes a big difference. I also liked your point that while we go to God with the big things the temptation can be to try to handle the smaller things by ourselves. I think that is the source of a lot of our stress.
Lesley, I agree not going to God for the little things does add a lot of stress. Thank you! Blessings, Maree
I love this! Not all the unexpected craziness you’ve had to endure, but your response! Your attitude is so contagious, and your ability to see the good in the midst of the crazy is refreshing! Praying for a smooth remainder of your Thanksgiving week! 🙂
Kristen, You made me smile with your comment, especially with your clarification about the craziness. We did have smooth rest of the week.
I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Blessings,
Maree
It’s that “peace which passes all understanding.” I like what Paul Tripp says, we live between the already and the not yet. All the promises of God are “yes and amen,” but we don’t see them all just yet. We live in 2 kingdoms at the same times and can have joy in the midst of loss, peace when chaos abounds. Thanks for this great post. I’m pinning and sharing.
Donna, Thank you for adding to our conversation. I love the Paul Tripp quote.
Yes, we do live in 2 Kingdoms. Thank you for sharing this post with others.
I hope you had a great Thanksgiving!
Blessings, Maree