Do you ever find yourself disappointed with God? Sometimes it can almost feel like blasphemy to entertain such thoughts. Then to utter our displeasure, one might begin to wonder, does it mean we have no faith? But then again – aren’t we humans full of expectations, wants, and desires?
Recently I found myself with a considerable WALL erected between God and me. Prayer was a struggle, Bible reading non-existent, and God felt so far away. I began to poke at the wall in hopes I could knock it down. When that failed, I tried to climb it with the desire of scaling it so I would never have to dig deep as to why this wall existed. Of course, this method proved to be useless too.
Why the Wall?
It all boiled down to one truth; I was disappointed God had not intervened.
Oh, it might have been a recent tragedy that triggered the beginning of the wall. But then I began stacking one brick upon another with all my lifetime disappointments.
Now it seemed almost as if my faith had helped that wall grow strong. You see, I believe, without a doubt, my God is powerful and capable of anything. I knew he could have prevented the terrible, horrible things which had happened – but he didn’t. He allowed the pain and suffering to occur. It made no human sense.
So like a little child, my hand went up as if I could stop God from penetrating my heart and drawing close. After all, when someone disappoints, don’t you want a little space?
But when we are disappointed with God, it doesn’t necessarily mean we have less faith; it merely means we are human with thoughts, feelings, and emotions. We don’t need to judge them right or wrong but instead allow ourselves to recognize and experience them. To enable them to push us toward our Lord, not away.
Remember, our thoughts, feelings, and emotions are not facts.
Our disappointment seems to be rooted in our expectations of what we think God should have done in light of knowing his unlimited capabilities.
When You Can’t Express Your Disappointment
Maybe you are disappointed with God’s lack of intervention right now but afraid to communicate it? When this happens, most likely, you will find yourself in one of the categories below.
1. Running away from God. Holding tight to the idea of how could a good God allow such terrible circumstances.
2. Ignoring the emotion altogether, hoping it will go away. Many times, this results in ugly words, actions, and behaviors towards those that innocently cross your path.
3. Building a wall to block God’s presence – at a time, you need him more than ever.
You are not alone. These are all common responses when life throws us the unexpected, and we want things to be different. Of course, the best answer is to go right to God. Our questioning and cries can help us put our trust back where it belongs. But sometimes we don’t go to him.
To be honest building, a wall is not my usual response, so when it happened, it took me by surprise. Usually, I run to God with all of my why’s and quickly turn them into trust. But this time was different. I found myself deeply disappointed in the way God had allowed things to play out. My heart was unwilling to go to him quite yet.
One might assume if we voice our disappointment in God’s lack of response or push him away, we no longer exhibit a strong faith in God. However, I would strongly disagree.
Instead, in this time of disappointment, we must rely on the foundation of faith we have built. To lean on what we know about God, not what we feel to carry us through. God can handle any disappointments, anger, or questions we might have.
Please join us for our new series on Faith, Hope, and Love. Next week, we will tear down the wall and look at “How to Keep a Strong Faith When Disappointed.” Click here to read,
Are you willing to voice your disappointment to God?
Why would God not want me to remarry. My wife died in July 2023. Does God Think I was not a good husband. That I was mean to her. I took care of her for 1o years,helping her take showers, go to bathroom. as she got sicker I took care of her in bed. I did n’t want her to die. I loved her very much. Would God not want me to remarry. Should I remarry,I would rather go to heaven and be with her
Jim,
I am deeply sorry for your loss. It’s evident that you took exceptional care of your wife, and I can only imagine the depth of your loss. I understand that caregiving can be challenging, and I’m sure there were moments of frustration, but your dedication and love are truly admirable. It can get lonely, and the desire to remarry or be with your wife would be great.
Sometimes, knowing exactly what God wants for us is hard, and his timing can be a long wait. In the meantime, we wonder what God thinks of us. Recently, I experienced this, wondering if God liked me since I was going through so much. However, hold tight to the truth. God loves you very much and thinks the world of you. Heck, He created you and wants what’s best.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
Blessings,
Maree
For this life, we all suffer from loss more and less. There is pain that words might not reach, yet can be touched when we meet people who are also suffering.
Here is a quote from “Walk with Jesus; Stations of the Cross” by Henri Nouwen.
The life of a Christian is a life of love for Jesus. “Do you love me?” That is the question he asks us three times. And when we say: “Yes Lord you know I love you,” he says: “You will be taken where you would rather not go” (see John 21:15-18). There is never love without sorrow, never commitment without pain, never involvement without loss, never giving without suffering, never a “Yes” to life without many deaths to die. Whenever we seek to avoid sorrow, we become unable to love. Whenever we choose to love, there will be many tears. When silence fell around the cross and all was accomplished, Mary’s sorrow reached out to all the ends of the earth. But all those who come to know that sorrow in their own hearts will come to know it as the mantle of God’s love and cherish it as the hidden mystery of life.
Thank you for leaving this beautiful comment and quote. Yes, we are touched deeply when we meet people who are suffering. Blessing to you, Maree
Sometimes it’s the hope that kills you.
I’ve been disappointed one too many times. My tree is still planted by the river but the river has run dry and now the tree is dying. And yes.. the wall of faith that once seemed to protect me from the heartless senseless suffering of this world is now the mound of rubble that separates me from God. You put that perfectly. So I would ask you to pray for me cause I have almost come to the point of thinking when I pray it only gets worse. Thank you ,
Daniel
Oh, Daniel, it would be an honor to pray for you. I will do that right now as I pause before I hit reply. I am so sorry you are suffering. Blessings, Maree
I can’t tell you how much I needed to read this today. I’ve known for a while that I had some disappointments and couldn’t express them; what I didn’t know is that I fall into two of the responses you gave.
You hit the nail on the head as they say with your comment about your faith potentially being the problem. I’m so there. Thank you so much for writing this.
You made my day! I am so glad my post spoke to you. I almost didn’t post it in fear it would be misunderstood. Praying for you in your disappointments. Maree
I have definitely been there with feeling disappointed with God and building a wall. It is so much better to be honest and realise that God can deal with our messy feelings!
Lesley – I agree it is always a better choice to go to God first. He loves us no matter what. Maree
Oh, this is SO good, Maree! And so needed too. I have certainly dealt with many of the same emotions and responses you listed above. The hand to the face.. yep, done that. Running away.. been there. Erecting walls.. you bet. And I’ve also dealt with the guilt and shame that comes from my responses to such emotions.
I don’t think we’re alone.
Thank you for sharing your vulnerability. I am looking forward to the rest of this series! <3
Rachel – Oh yes, the guilt and shame that comes with not going to God first. I am so glad you stopped by and added to the conversation. Maree
“But when we are disappointed with God it doesn’t necessarily mean we have less faith; it merely means we are human with thoughts, feelings, and emotions.”
This is so true! Acknowledging our thoughts, feelings, and emotions doesn’t speak to our level of faith, but rather our human-ness. It’s how God made us. However, what we do with our disappointment is up to us. Do we let it draw us closer to Him? Or do we let it come between us? Great post!
Laura, Yes, I agree what we do with our disappointments is up to us. Most times it drives me to God, but once in a while I get stubborn and stomp my feet a bit before running to him. Thank you for stopping by. I hope you have a great day! Blessings, Maree
Maree … so very good to meet you here tonight. Thanks for putting this subject on the table … one we’d like to skirt around yet find we’ve experience, often without knowing it. Bless you for this wisdom …
Linda,
I am so glad you stopped by. I hope you have a wonderful week ahead. Blessings, Maree
Voicing disappointment or any negative feeling to God in prayer can completely seem like the wrong move, but God already knows we feel that way. Isn’t that crazy? We try to hide it anyway but He knows. You are so right; opening up to Him about our disappointment is the best way to handle and keep that faith we have built.
Great post!
Ashley, You are so correct; God already knows what we feel. I love what you said, “opening up to Him about our disappointment is the best way to handle and keep that faith we have built.” I am so glad you stopped by to add to our conversation. Blessings, Maree
My experiences of being disappointed with God always reveal my latent “prosperity Gospel” leanings. I want a life that is predicable and a system of clear outcomes that always line up with my expectations. That nagging grey cloud of disappointment is a good warning alarm for out-of-whack theology!
Michele, Thank you for adding your words of wisdom. Yes, it is so true, I too want a life that is predictable, and when it doesn’t line up, I get disappointed. I love your analogy of the nagging grey cloud.
Best to be honest with God since He knows what I’m thinking anyway. Best when I feel disappointed or afraid to read along with the Psalmist who felt all those feelings and more. Thank you!
Yes, I too love reading the Psalms. Maree
Visiting from Fresh Market Friday. Yes, I have felt disappointed in God. I do feel free to share my heart with the Lord in those times. And He does draw me back with His love in amazing ways. This is a great post! Thank you. May you know His blessings today!
Cheryl,
Thank you for stopping by to leave a little bit of your wisdom on my website. Thank you for the encouragement. Maree
Maree, I have been there and I for one, am so grateful our God can and will take down any wall. He constantly pursues and pulls us to Himself. Grateful for this encouraging post this morning.
Joanne, Yes, I love how our God will take down the walls. He never ceases to amaze me. Blessings, Maree
I’ve been there, Maree, recently even. Thanks for your encouragement today!
I think we all have at one point on our journey with God. Thank you for stopping by. I hope you had a wonderful weekend. Maree
Yes, we are human & we have expectations of a desired outcome for our prayers rather than God’s will for the situation…
I went through a spiritual dry patch for awhile this year too. But as you realized God doesn’t leave us there, praise Him! 😀
Blessings,
Jennifer
Jennifer, Yes, thank goodness God never leaves us. Even when it feels dry, I know he is right here with us. Maree
This is truly beautiful. So often I do not like to admit that I am quite disappointed in the outcome. It even makes me refuse to pray at times because I feel like God is going to do what He wants to do anyway. How powerful that His strength is made perfect in weakness.
Thank you for your words of encouragement. I can completely related to what you said about praying. I know the power of prayer isn’t in the answers but what it does to our hearts when we pray. I am so glad you stopped by and added your wise words. Maree
This is such a great post. I struggled for a long time with feeling “dissapointed” in God and then fearing my own thoughts and doubts. There is such peace when we realize that this is a very human response. I loved what you said here about our feelings; “We don’t need to judge them right or wrong but instead allow ourselves to recognize and experience them.” AND “Our disappointment seems to be rooted in our expectations of what we think God should have done in light of knowing his unlimited capabilities.” This is often my struggle—it’s the knowing He “could’ve.” Which is why the importance of constantly going back to truth and standing firm on that is of the utmost importance.
So very true.
Susan, Yes knowing he could’ve is my struggle. I agree we must keep going back to the truth and standing firm. Thank goodness I am not wavering on that part. Blessings, Maree
Oh Marree!!! I can totally relate with everything in this post!!! When I was struggling with infertility I built a HUGE wall. But we serve a BIG God!!! When I finally recognized the spiritual battle going on inside of me for what it was….and when I started clinging to and claiming truth…..that wall began to crumble!!! Thank you so much for such an honest post! It is one we all need to hear!
Thank you for your beautiful words of encouragement. I am sorry you have struggled with infertility. I imagine that was difficult. I agree we must claim the truth in times of struggle. Thank you for adding to the conversation. Your words were a blessing. Maree
I believe that during these times of wrestling, we connect with a deeper, more intimate level of relationship with God. I’m so thankful for my seasons of struggle.
Yes, the seasons of struggle do bring me closer to God too. While we are in them, it is something hard to be thankful, but afterward, we can see God’s hand all over our situation. Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment. Maree
I’ve had my own share of “tug-of-wars” with God, and each time I think of Gideon. I’m grateful that God’s unconditional love makes a way for our wrestling. Not something many talk about, but it is a real part of the believer’s “human” side of this journey. Great encouragement Maree!
Crystal, Yes, God’s unconditional love is amazing. Thank you for stopping by and sharing. Maree
I love that we can wrestle with God and it doesn’t change his love for us.
Anita – Me too! When I wrestle with God, it brings me closer. Maree
I think I have always been more disappointed in me, thinking I had done something wrong and messed it up, when that wasn’t so, He just has His timing.
Yes, I do that too. I am always thinking God is trying to teach me something. Blessings, Maree