Are you exhausted from saying “yes” to too many people or activities? Is it a struggle to utter the word “no?” Do you continuously try to satisfy others in your life when it isn’t in your best interest? Perhaps you struggle with people-pleasing. Would you consider contemplating the why behind it and how to stop being a people pleaser?
I used to be a “yes” kind of woman. After all, it seemed like the Christian way of life. Plus, one of my passions in life is to help others. However, slowly but surely, the joy in helping seemed to dissipate, and I found myself exhausted. Has this ever happened to you?
Perhaps, the awareness starts when you look around and notice you’re the only one working. Resentment then begins to rear its ugly head, and anger starts to rise towards others. Yet, you are the one who volunteered.
A Change
One year before Christmas, I read a book that changed my life and helped increase my holiday joy. It was a year I wanted to skip Christmas. Have you ever counted the days until it’s over? You can read about it here. However, not only was my Christmas fantastic, it has continued to be a tool to stop the inclination to be a people pleaser.
However, don’t think for one minute I have this people-pleasing licked. It is a constant battle. My heart always wants to say “yes” when it comes to helping others.
But of course, to stop our people-pleasing, we must first be aware of the problem and know why we do it. Today, we have an excellent featured article that addresses people-pleasing by letting us walk in the author’s shoes.
Featured Post
Today, our featured post is from Leslie Newman. She might surprise you as she shares her thinking. It might parallel some of your own. She points out some great phrases that might help you decipher if you are a people pleaser. Plus, she gently shows us how people-pleasing isn’t what God has in mind for us.
Now for our Featured Post
A Day in the Life of a People Pleaser
By Leslie Newman
Click here to read.
Our featured post today, on Grace & Truth Link-Up, is written by Leslie Newman—“A Day in the Life of a People Pleaser.”#graceandtruth #featuredpost Share on X
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Maree, there’s many times I’ve fallen into the trap of pleasing people. Then the Lord showed me a Bible verse that I committed to memory. It’s like He whispered to my heart, “Seek to please Me, not people!”
“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Gal. 1:10 ESV
Karen, Thank you for adding the bible verse. It is a great one. Maree
Oh goodness, Maree. I’ve been a people-pleasing yes-girl, too. God has worked with me a ton in these areas, though I still struggle from time to time. I’m learning to say no to lesser things so I can say yes to the things God’s placed on my heart. And I’m reading (finally!) The Best Yes, which has been so thought-provoking!
Merry Christmas, Maree!
Oh, I am so glad you are reading The Best Yes, it was so life-changing for me. I, too, have done a ton of work in the area of people-pleasing. I often say yes because it sounds like a fantastic opportunity; my only problem is that you can’t say yes to everything. It seems the older I get, the more great choice I find. I recently stepped down from something I absolutely love doing. However, I hear God clearly saying it’s time. Thank you for stopping by. Maree
I relate to your following statement Maree;
“However, don’t think for one minute I have this people-pleasing licked. It is a constant battle. My heart always wants to say “yes” when it comes to helping others.”
It’s a tug of war at times, not every situation is clear cut especially when it comes to family. But I have also learnt that at times we jump in where we shouldn’t! Often getting in God’s way & His working in the situation! I have learnt to stop & ask Him before stepping any further.
Leslie I’ll pop over & join you.
This week Maree, I have shared, “Alone in the Wilderness?”
https://teawithjennufer.blog/2020/12/11/wilderness/
Bless you both,
Jennifer
Jennifer,
I agree we get right in the way of God. Glad to know I am not alone. I hope I linked up the right post. THe link above didn’t work, but I went to your website and grabbed the URL. Bless you, Maree
Lauri, thanks for being here today. I’m going to check out the book that Maree mentioned, too. : )
Maree, I knew as soon as I read the title of this post that it was one I needed to read. I have been a people pleaser for most of my life. Slowly, slowly, I am becoming more of a God-pleaser than a people pleaser and I am happier that way. I often used to roll into Christmas exhausted and spent, ready for the holidays to be over. Thank you for sharing this post and the book with us. I will check them out.
Laurie, You are not alone. I have been right there with you. I am like that you are slowly becoming a God Pleaser. That what I want to be too. Maree
Thank you so much for sharing this, Wemi. I can very much relate to that as well. The exhaustion of people pleasing is a real thing! One of the best things about coming out of it is recognizing that taking care of myself is something God wants me to do. It feels very freeing. Thanks so much for sharing my post!
Maree,
Thank you so much for featuring my article here today. It’s good to know I’m among friends while I continue to work on stepping away from people pleasing so I can focus more and more on exactly what God wants me to be doing! Those are the best yesses! Blessings!
Leslie, I am so glad you wrote it. You were the answer to a prayer. I was dragging my feet on finishing up a series of letting go. It was hard to move forward without something about pleasing people. Thank you. Maree
‘I used to be a “yes” kind of woman. After all, it seemed like the Christian way of life. Plus, one of my passions in life is to help others. However, slowly but surely, the joy in helping seemed to dissipate, and I found myself exhausted’ – gosh, I relate to this so much and had to learn that saying ‘no’ is actually a healthy thing and part of my self-care. Great post – I’ve shared!
Wemi – Yes, I agree it is healthy to say “no.” I am so glad I am not alone in this. Thank you for sharing.